Tell Someone Your Being Bullied

Always tell someone you trust and who can help you ,don't suffer in silence.
If you are afraid to tell someone in person, then write a note or email to tell them what is going on. It can be anyone from your parents, grandparents, brothers or sisters or another adult you trust.

I remember when I being bullied at school I told my Uncle Al and he gave me several options.
One I liked the best was to make friends with a tall kid. My friend Ken was very tall so I made it a point to stay close to him on the play ground and walking home. The interesting thing is I protected him from kids bullying him and he protected me from my bully.

If you are being bullied at work tell someone and figure out a solution.


Please share a story...


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richard@richardpaul.com

My Son's A Bully!

Recently I presented my Stop The Bullying training program for a PTA event.
When I was explaining what we should do if we find out our child is a bully one of the attendees raised her hand and shared with us that her son was a bully. She also explained what she does to help him realize how his victim feels when he bully's him

She role plays with her son having him play the victim and she plays the role of the bully.
Then they stops and she asks him how it feels when someone make fun of him or pushes him all the time. She also explains what a bully is so he can see the difference between having fun and hurting someones feelings.

For more information visit my web site at www.richardpaul.com
or call us at 800-579-8051

If you have a story you would like to share on this blog email me at richard@richardpaul.com

Self-esteem is a great defence tool for victims of a bully order Richard's Duck Sense CD for tips on how to build your child's self-esteem and improve their life. www.ducksense.com

Bully Wife

I was at my Credit Union talking to the teller who recognized me from middle school and high school. We talked about the people we knew from school and if we had seen any of them since graduation. She asked me what I was doing and I told her I present No Bullying educational programs for schools, parents and staff. She went on to tell me that she use to bully a little boy in elementary school. She didn't know his name but she thought is was funny to make fun of him on the playground, in the lunch room or walking down the hall. The boy moved away and she didn't see him again so she thought. Many years after school she met a guy who is now her husband. Turns out he was the little nameless little boy she bullied forty years ago.


Learn more about anti-bullying issues at www.richardpaul.com

Click here for information about our Duck Sense life skills CD audio book: www.ducksense.com
Learn how to have a happier healthier life.

Eye Contact and Smiles

Hey Rick!
Thanks for the Ezine! I liked the article on eye contact. I am working with this concept in the office with my employees...not that I'm bullying them, mind you :) but letting them know that making eye contact with our patients, especially when presenting treatment or fees shows confidence and patients sense that. We do role playing quite often and that is one skill we practice a lot! I have had some of the employees tell me that keeping a smile on their face helps them to keep eye contact because a smile can be very engaging. If a patient is upset over something and I am called to discuss the matter with them I put on my best smile look straight in their eyes and lower my voice and for some reason that always diffuses them! Anyway, thanks for the article, I plan to share it with my employees as a reinforcement for what we are trying to accomplish. Enjoy the beautiful day!

Blessings,
Judy

Understanding why bully's bully

Hi Richard,

My name is Kim Nuxhall (Mr.) and I'm an elementary character/p.e. teacher in Fairfield, Ohio. Just wanted to add my comments/experiences on dealing with bullying.

I work with my elementary kids on a couple of things:
1. Understanding first what bullying is.

2. Understanding "why" bullies bully. I explain to them that bully's are actually very scared people and unhappy with themselves inside. That something has happened or is happening to them that has made them unhappy and scared inside.

So.....I tell my students when they are being bullied to look at the person and tell them that you are sorry they are not very happy inside. Also.....I tell my students to "Use the Wall" and imagine an invisible thick wall around your self that only lets the good words in and the bad stuff can't penetrate. Finally....I talk to them allot about not giving the bully any power over them to get them upset, which is what the bully wants to get.....power over them.

Keep up your good work,

Kim Nuxhall

CONCERNED PARENT.

Dear Richard,
My daughter has been a victim of bullying at 3 different schools. Now she seems to be doing the best she has ever done academically. I have spoke to the parents of these girls. One appologized at our house. The other one quit picking on her. The last one, the instigator, will not let loose. She has even caused her to do poorly on a group project by not including her and omitting her work. The teachers were informed of this. I have been to the principal...twice. She still continues to call my daughter names and forbid her friends to talk to my daughter and they follow her orders.
I have asked my daughter to sit somewhere else at lunch and make new friends, but she claims everyone is mean to her and she has no friends. The ones she does have don't want to sit by her because they think it's mean how there friends treat her but don't want to lose them as thier friends.
Help...
Our school claims to have a bully policy, but I have yet to see any results and the kids just seem so mean. My daughter is very shy, until she gets to know a person. I wish I could go to the school during lunch and get these kids to mingle and meet each other.
Do you have any suggestions. I don't know if the school would be willing to hold an assembly.
Sincerely,
Susan Spencer


I shared some information with her via email, do you have any suggestions you can share with Susan. Send them to richard@richardpaul.com and I will post them on the blog.

Eye Contact= Non-verbal Communication

This past week I was presenting my Core Democratic Values program at a school in Detroit. There is a part in the program where I pick twelve students to help me to demonstrate the first three articles of the Constitution. The last young lady I asked up was sitting in the middle of the second row. She was so excited that I picked her she jumped up from her seat. As she was trying to walk over to the center aisle three boys grabbed her pant leg and tried to trip her. She caught her balance and gave all three of those boys a stare that would scare a bear. The boys giggling faces quickly turned to fear. They bowed their heads down as if they were being scold by the principal.

The best thing we can teach our students and children is that we don't have to say anything to get the point across. In a great book entitled Bully-Proofing Your School the authors talk about "getting the meaning without words" (P.67) It's all about body langeuge. If we are giving the bully firm eye contact we can effectively send out a non-verbal message that clearly means "KNOCK IT OFF!".

"Most powerful is he who has himself in his own power" Seneca

Copyright Richard Paul 2007

Send in your comments to richard@richardpaul.com and we will post them to the blog.